Many people get those thoughts but don't talk about it. It's the reason why many people fall into depression. I've had it and talked about it with loads of people. It felt good, it helped me a bit in time but still those thoughts occur once in a while. Just not as bad as before. The brain is very complex and people underestimate it. Being able to express your emotions is very important!
On another note, suicide is the coward's way out; it is, in essence, saying "I QUIT!" and giving in to whatever struggles may have brought such urges about. I'll tell you something though, your life isn't over yet and there's still a lot of battles ahead. Are you gonna quit on your family? Are you gonna quit on your friends? Are you gonna give up on starting a family of your own, denying a prospective wife a happy relationship and a child their very conception and presence on this earth? Are you gonna throw all those instances in the future where you might have quite the impact on somebody else's life? Never quit, karp. Just keep on moving forwards; God's not done with you yet.
Let me make things clear. People who have suffered a lot in any kind of way, have heard what you said like a million times. They are indeed, holding on but sometimes, the pressure can get so high. It did for me atleast, and it shreds you apart from the inside piece by piece. I have been through very dark times and I can easily tell you, I've heard what you said thousands of times. Some people like me just don't have that many desires and are simply just... not interested in most things. We don't talk much, we cant express our emotions and this is why orthers have to help like many did with me. I feel better now and even though, it hasn't completely healed me, it's still there. It's like a burden on your shoulder that will try to drag you down and depending on your in real life situation, you will be able to stand. Many people give in, many don't. It's just how it is... It's not selfish, it's not cowardice. These people have suffered enough because of the shit orther people put them through. I'd call it bravery and strength instead that they still hold on to such a burden that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Don't lose hope, stay strong and hold on is the only advice I can give. Thanks for reading