beepbobit
New member
I haven't written a story in a while, so I thought I'd make a quick one and post it here. Hope you enjoy it. PS, no I don't only write stories involving my own death
An Unexpected Pilgrimage, based on true events.
One day, beepbobit was fighting in the battle of Helm’s Deep. He decided to join the Uruks on this day, thinking that Rohan did not deserve his help for the 20 millionth time (or perhaps it was the fact that Rohan was full? Who knows). Anyhow, as he was fighting, he was approached by a man who seemed to be in a not-so-convincing Uruk-hai disguise, even less convincing than his own. The man whispered, “psst, beepbobit, it’s me, Dimitri, Vice-Archon of Rohan! I want to show you something my agents discovered the other day that I think you might be interested in.” Beepbobit nodded and lowered his mage staff, sparing a helpless Rohirric archer far above. He followed Dimitri to the plains, where they stood at the edge of the Deeping Stream. “Into the water,” exclaimed Dimitri, “we can hide better there.” And with that Dimitri jumped into the water, emerging a second later to breathe. Beepbobit followed, the water seeping into his filthy golden Uruk armor and removing his disguising Uruk makeup, though he still wore a large cobblestone on his head for no apparent reason. The two swam a ways until they reached what Beepbobit had believe to be the edge of the stream, where no man was able to walk any further without being stopped by a wall of ancient magic. However, Dimitri spoke a few words, before walking straight under the wall, which took the form of a bastion of ice. Beepbobit was shocked, but he followed Dimitri through the wall into the outside world.
What he saw there shocked him. Gone were the fabulous details of the rest of Helms Deep. What had once seemed to be mountains were revealed to have massive globes on their backs, disguising who knows what inside. (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics) He followed Dimitri further, into the open, flat, desolate plain. Nothing lived here, only grass, and no structures were to be seen out beyond the wall. However, the two soon reached something else, a strange, temple-like edifice. The building was built in several layers, the lowest being fenceposts to hold up the rest, followed by a layer of glass, large walls of obsidian, and finally a crown of glowstone (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics). Beepbobit took note of the place, though he had no idea what the significance of such a spot could be. As he continued following Dimitri, he heard a voice. “Watch out! If you fall in the holes, you can’t get out!” And sure enough, the voice was right. All around the temple were holes in the dirt and the building, as though someone had assaulted the complex with an onslaught of explosives. Beepbobit narrowly avoided a hole, before turning around to thank his advisor. It turned out to be Pwnerdoode, Beepbobit’s squire, who had followed the two out into the wilderness. The three talked as they walked, Dimitri leading the way with help from Pwner, before finally nearing the last of the great monuments of the wilderness.
This building was different. It consisted of two main parts, one of dirt and one of stone. The stone one was built like a castle, large and mostly square. The other was shaped like a hill, with erratic formations in the dirt. Neither was found to be climbable, and the top could not be reached. The two supported another, smaller building, which too took the form of a castle, but with more complex towers, and glowstone lamps. Beepbobit longed to reach this tower, but he could not find a way up. Strangest of all the features of these buildings were the large signs that floated in front of them, labeling them as “Uruk, Rohan, Spawn” (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics). Confused, beepbobit sat down. He found that he was quite hungry, so he took a bite of the porkchops he carried with him. The three gathered, and discussed what to do next.
“I propose we go back and continue the fight. The Uruk-hai need us!” Proclaimed valiant Pwner. “I say we duel to the death, FOR MORGOTH!” explained maniacal Dimitri. But beepbobit’s eyes did not falter from the horizon far in the distance, marked by the countless stars of the sky. “We head north, for as long as we can. Perhaps there is more out there in the wilderness.” The others could not argue against Beepbobit’s will, so they continued as he said. The three ran at a fast pace into the north. When they grew hungry, they ate, and continued running. Soon the buildings had disappeared behind them, and all around was nothing but the earth and the stars. Beepbobit was mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
Eventually, Beepbobit ran out of food. Not long after, he could no longer run on account of his hunger, yet he continued to walk. Finally, he was so hungry, that he fell to his knees. He turned to his friends, who still had a few scraps of food left in their systems. “My friends,” he said, “It is my time. My time to join the Valar, to become one with the stars.” He said a prayer, and began to die. A tear fell from Pwner’s eye; Dimitri smiled at his pain. But Beepbobit’s eyes remained locked on the stars. Finally, he smiled, and began to feel his spirit leaving him. All around him he heard the songs of the Maiar, and a great glow began to fall from the sky. He spoke for the last time to his friends. “Thank you, friends, for bringing me to this place. May Eru bless you and guide you, forever.” And with that, he was gone. His corpse transformed into a villager and fell to the ground. Pwner sighed, saying “and thus ends the accounts of beepbobit the wise.” Dimitri cackled, drawing two daggers and stabbing them into beepbobit’s corpse. Yet beepbobit did not care, he was one with the Valar, as he deserved to be… (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics)
Beepbobit awoke in his bed, in Minas Tirith. The bells of the town began to ring, the lights in Lampwright’s square had begun to fade. The dawn burned on the horizon, breaking the rainclouds of the previous night. Beepbobit sat up, and smiled, gazing out his window into the city he loved.
Thus ends the account of Beepbobit the Wise, Lord of the Bards, Captain of the Royal Guard, Spearman of Gondor, and Cupbearer of the King.
An Unexpected Pilgrimage, based on true events.
One day, beepbobit was fighting in the battle of Helm’s Deep. He decided to join the Uruks on this day, thinking that Rohan did not deserve his help for the 20 millionth time (or perhaps it was the fact that Rohan was full? Who knows). Anyhow, as he was fighting, he was approached by a man who seemed to be in a not-so-convincing Uruk-hai disguise, even less convincing than his own. The man whispered, “psst, beepbobit, it’s me, Dimitri, Vice-Archon of Rohan! I want to show you something my agents discovered the other day that I think you might be interested in.” Beepbobit nodded and lowered his mage staff, sparing a helpless Rohirric archer far above. He followed Dimitri to the plains, where they stood at the edge of the Deeping Stream. “Into the water,” exclaimed Dimitri, “we can hide better there.” And with that Dimitri jumped into the water, emerging a second later to breathe. Beepbobit followed, the water seeping into his filthy golden Uruk armor and removing his disguising Uruk makeup, though he still wore a large cobblestone on his head for no apparent reason. The two swam a ways until they reached what Beepbobit had believe to be the edge of the stream, where no man was able to walk any further without being stopped by a wall of ancient magic. However, Dimitri spoke a few words, before walking straight under the wall, which took the form of a bastion of ice. Beepbobit was shocked, but he followed Dimitri through the wall into the outside world.
What he saw there shocked him. Gone were the fabulous details of the rest of Helms Deep. What had once seemed to be mountains were revealed to have massive globes on their backs, disguising who knows what inside. (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics) He followed Dimitri further, into the open, flat, desolate plain. Nothing lived here, only grass, and no structures were to be seen out beyond the wall. However, the two soon reached something else, a strange, temple-like edifice. The building was built in several layers, the lowest being fenceposts to hold up the rest, followed by a layer of glass, large walls of obsidian, and finally a crown of glowstone (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics). Beepbobit took note of the place, though he had no idea what the significance of such a spot could be. As he continued following Dimitri, he heard a voice. “Watch out! If you fall in the holes, you can’t get out!” And sure enough, the voice was right. All around the temple were holes in the dirt and the building, as though someone had assaulted the complex with an onslaught of explosives. Beepbobit narrowly avoided a hole, before turning around to thank his advisor. It turned out to be Pwnerdoode, Beepbobit’s squire, who had followed the two out into the wilderness. The three talked as they walked, Dimitri leading the way with help from Pwner, before finally nearing the last of the great monuments of the wilderness.
This building was different. It consisted of two main parts, one of dirt and one of stone. The stone one was built like a castle, large and mostly square. The other was shaped like a hill, with erratic formations in the dirt. Neither was found to be climbable, and the top could not be reached. The two supported another, smaller building, which too took the form of a castle, but with more complex towers, and glowstone lamps. Beepbobit longed to reach this tower, but he could not find a way up. Strangest of all the features of these buildings were the large signs that floated in front of them, labeling them as “Uruk, Rohan, Spawn” (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics). Confused, beepbobit sat down. He found that he was quite hungry, so he took a bite of the porkchops he carried with him. The three gathered, and discussed what to do next.
“I propose we go back and continue the fight. The Uruk-hai need us!” Proclaimed valiant Pwner. “I say we duel to the death, FOR MORGOTH!” explained maniacal Dimitri. But beepbobit’s eyes did not falter from the horizon far in the distance, marked by the countless stars of the sky. “We head north, for as long as we can. Perhaps there is more out there in the wilderness.” The others could not argue against Beepbobit’s will, so they continued as he said. The three ran at a fast pace into the north. When they grew hungry, they ate, and continued running. Soon the buildings had disappeared behind them, and all around was nothing but the earth and the stars. Beepbobit was mesmerized by the beauty of it all.
Eventually, Beepbobit ran out of food. Not long after, he could no longer run on account of his hunger, yet he continued to walk. Finally, he was so hungry, that he fell to his knees. He turned to his friends, who still had a few scraps of food left in their systems. “My friends,” he said, “It is my time. My time to join the Valar, to become one with the stars.” He said a prayer, and began to die. A tear fell from Pwner’s eye; Dimitri smiled at his pain. But Beepbobit’s eyes remained locked on the stars. Finally, he smiled, and began to feel his spirit leaving him. All around him he heard the songs of the Maiar, and a great glow began to fall from the sky. He spoke for the last time to his friends. “Thank you, friends, for bringing me to this place. May Eru bless you and guide you, forever.” And with that, he was gone. His corpse transformed into a villager and fell to the ground. Pwner sighed, saying “and thus ends the accounts of beepbobit the wise.” Dimitri cackled, drawing two daggers and stabbing them into beepbobit’s corpse. Yet beepbobit did not care, he was one with the Valar, as he deserved to be… (http://www.empirewar.org/profile/6333547/pics)
Beepbobit awoke in his bed, in Minas Tirith. The bells of the town began to ring, the lights in Lampwright’s square had begun to fade. The dawn burned on the horizon, breaking the rainclouds of the previous night. Beepbobit sat up, and smiled, gazing out his window into the city he loved.
Thus ends the account of Beepbobit the Wise, Lord of the Bards, Captain of the Royal Guard, Spearman of Gondor, and Cupbearer of the King.
