Corvus™

I knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy's cousin.
His gun commited a mass shooting, while he was at school.

"the cloud people ate my baby, Carl"

im literally the worst.

F is for friends who do stuff without you
U is for uninvited
C is for clinging onto hope that you won't be forgotten
K is for Krispy Kreme yum

that's new. my gun moves on it's own all the time, just yesterday i set it down on my counter for a moment while i went outside to clean my deer, when i re-entered the house it was hovering menacingly in the doorway, while i stood there in terror of what the nefarious gun might do next, i heard a disembodied voice come out of nowhere, it said my name in a ghastly tone which sort-of sounded like donald trump.... huh, anyways it said "jeeeefffreeeeyyyy" it said this the exact same way three times before i finally responded with a whimpering "w-what?!" it continued, "jeffffreeeyyyyy, together we must slay the infidels, jeffrey" i responded, "th-the in-in-inf-infidels?" the wicked and evil gun with an apparent mind of it's own responded "yesss, my child, the infadels, after our holey conquest is complete, we can begin work on the mexico border, and then the new world order" and with that it floated into my hands, and i felt a magical force slide my finger over the trigger, i could hear the voice now, but this time it was inside my head, the will of my 12-guage bolt-action semi-automatic shotgun was channeling through me, i was but a mere vessel, in this wicked gun's plot. i could feel my legs move, i had no control over then, i found myself walking to the closet and grabbing the biggest leather trenchcoat i could find, i didn't even know it was in there, i guess the gun bought it one day when i was out of town fucking my step sister. anyways, now apparently the gun is making me go to our closest school, see you all in a few hours!

hi, yes, let me stand on graves and manipulate emotions for a little bit and close my ears and my mind to any valid criticism or logical thought! my emotions dictate everything i do, i live on impulse, im a chimpanzee with a mouth lalalalalalalala! i can't hear or understand sound logic! lalalalalalala!

>insert chimpanzee audio here<

Dr. Phil was born and raised alongside his brother, Eminem, in Detroit. The two were very close, and always had each other's backs. Dr. Phil wanted to become a rapper just like his brother, but was incapable of delivering the same bars and flows as Eminem. Regardless of how hard he tried, he could never be as good as Eminem. One day, Eminem said to Dr. Phil "Look 'ere Phil, I know how badly you want this. I understand. But you just don't have it in you brother. Find something else. I'm telling you now so you don't get hurt later on. I'm sorry." But these words hurt Dr. Phil. He became so heart-torn that he cut all ties with Eminem and started his own television show. To this day, he still hasn't forgiven Eminem, and hates to hear his name.

tired

what is meaning? most people only understand it at the most basic level. all that matters is the intent behind an action, and from actions you can learn the intent.
nobody even stops to think that i might actually not be entirely stupid, and that i just have a very different outlook on the world, it effects what i say, and what may sound dumb to you, only sounds dumb because you haven't experienced as much as i have. in the end though, nothing really matters. dislike me or don't, it doesn't change anything. talk about me or don't, all it does is bring more attention to me.

oh, and before you use that against me, no i do not care, the point here is that you must actually like me in order to talk about me, otherwise you'd just let the trend i've started die. but no, my views keep going up, my friend requests keep going up, and you people keep adding me on your alts in order to see my "friends only" posts. and then you post screenshots of those friends only posts to share, while also pretending that you don't have me on an alt, sorry hunny, but this only benefits me :')
Le End let me sniff that little pussy so i can smell all the failure <33

calling a retard, an idiot, isn't being insulting, it's just being fucking accurate. and im a dolt myself so if IM calling you an idiot, you must be REALLY fucking stupid.

i can't fucking win! first, people criticized and belittled me because i had too much of an "ego" on this fucking website and now that any self-esteem i once had has been completely demolished, now im "too sad" or "too annoying" or even, as of late, "baiting for compliments" unFUCKINGbelievable.

girls, stop dating guys who can't read this. :heart_eyes:

this is my favorite anime.

my memes are kept hidden in "friends only" posts :>