been feeling myself lately, making friends and having a good time with people i love.
but occasionally, just rarely, i come off that high and im reminded that inside i am still in a lot of pain. every now and then i'll meet someone, connect with them briefly, only to disconnect somewhere, and almost always it reminds me of that loneliness that i've felt for a long time.
i've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but of all those mistakes the worst one of all was believing in people.
listen, this is a dead website, i dont know if anybody is listening here, maybe that's why it's so easy to vent, but if you want advice about how to carry yourself in life, my advice is thus:
Trust and understanding is not a given, you cant just throw yourself out there and expect to not be taken advantage of, at the end of the day 90% of all sapient life on this planet is trying to take advantage of the other guy. If someone displays that they are trustworthy, then trust them, but until then view everyone with the utmost suspicion. Be respectful of others, treat others kindly, but dont trust them.
it's really not worth it, and the people who claim otherwise just want to use you.
otherwise, just talk to people man. connection helps with self esteem, even if you dont give a shit about those people at all, talk to them, try to understand them. it helps.