Corvus™

im actually feeling suicidal again which sucks because i was doing so well.

O O F

i wanna cry

genuine and wholesome girls are so fecking rare and precious you talk to them once and now you worship them haha.

idk it's late im kinda tired and loopy.

omfg i just saw something from a girl i used to be chatting up. "when florida men are obsessed with you hehe"

holy. fucking shit. this bitch for weeks was over here talking about how amazing i was and how much she loved me on instagram, twitter, discord, and this godforsaken sight, then she ghosts me, starts talking to other dudes and then tells me that she never liked me at all and that she was just using me as a crutch because she was in a bad place. and now she's accusing me of being "obsessed'?? fuck off you daft cunt.

this is why we need to nuke the UK.

I see you're very frustrated and sad. I'm not a stranger to these feelings, and I want to suggest that you start lifting?
It's what I did when things started going sour, and it's amazing. It's a perfect channel for anger and sorrow.

ok not like anyone cares but im tired of dumbasses telling me otherwise and giving me false hope. let me break down my future:

i will live on, obtain every material thing in the world my heart ever desired, the world will be my playground and i will do whatever i want within it. but i will not be loved, no by people, friends, or family. i will not find a lover, because im too damaged to be able to handle it. i wont ever be mature in that regard, nobody wants me. nobody will ever respect me, or even understand me. i will be at the top of the world metaphorically and yet i will always be miserable because none of that actually matters to be. i wont ever be whole, or truly confident in any decision i make. im cursed, not by circumstance, not by my upbringing, but by my shitty decisions. i have nobody to thank for the next 100 years of misfortune coming my way but myself, and yes i fucking hate it. but what can ya do? too late for it all anyway. so stop tryna convince me otherwise. i have a job to do, so do you, there isnt a single fucking prick on this planet that doesnt. so stop distracting me from the program, and let me do what needs to be done. thanks.

oh, right, uh, updates. hawk still sleeps in my porch at night, he basically still nests there, and he is still taking baths in my birdbath, i still feed him from time to time, and my neighbors are pissed because he keeps eating their chickens. fuck them, he's my bird and i lov him, if they loved their chickens they'd keep them locked up in a chicken coup. anyways hawk is my life right now, he's so perfect i dont deserve him. OH! and he follows me around the neighborhood whenver i go for walks, he does little circles around me like he's watching out for me :3 so cute.

and so i march on, holding onto all the pain, carrying it with me yet forgetting that i have it. i have a goal to reach and i will not fail myself also. i must march on.