Corvus™

lemme deepthroat a Scandinavian greatsword while you eat out my asshole with a rusty spoon and tickle my pickle with Spanish Bayonet

you're such a downer man, you're such a little... fuckin downer. you need to- you need to lighten up, lighten up man. u always such a downer.

tfw when you wake up, try to snap your own neck, hear a pop and think you're about to die, only to find your head is literally fucking stuck facing your shoulder, and you did some weird funky shit that you dont even understand to your neck, and all you can do is grab your head again, and twist it so it's back in place again. move it around a bit, hear a shit ton of crackling and popping. and now your neck, shoulders, and spine hurt like fucking hell, and i have a throbbing headache that stretches all the way from the top of your head, down to the base of your neck.

the only "b" word i'll be calling my bitch is beautiful

okay so basically

i failed on the 6th day of No Nut November, i respected my fuckbuddy so hard i nutted and a white stuffz come out. issall good tho cuz the next week i was spending the night with her and another female friend of mine and she pulled out a hot spatula and burned my arm. true story no lie. totes legit.

hell yeah using persimmon and bleach as ingredients in my mead.
i may look FLY
but tonight im gonna DIE

i needa stop smokin

going out again, gonna be drinking and smoking and partying for a while, and i still havent gotten over this hangover... pray for me while i do some more dangerous kid shit.

this cough is killing me

i found out why im sick now

my hangover is finally catching up to me.

im dying of a fever

owo

this just in: the pentagon(s) have announced that the Hexagons will no longer be tolerated in their territories. a team is currently being dispatched to deal with the threat, and deport them back to their place of origin.

"The frustrating thing about living is i can always rely on waking up to a nightmare the next morning"
-Me, Today.

Man does something = BAD, MISOGYNIST, RAPIST, PATRIARCHY!!!
Woman does something = GLORIOUS, EQUALITY, BREAKTHROUGH, SUCH PROGRESS!!!
Typical feminist trashthink.