Magikkarp

Watch out for this guy.

Everyone comment your favorite Pokemon below and why

My mom can't stop getting into car accidents dammit

While I don't personally observe it happy Easter you lot

Tfw your dad somehow has your head shaved. I don't know whether I should post a pic or not.

Alrighty so I'm in a damn good mood ye scrubs so here's my insta: @jeyzenberg

I have one of the masters of the dojo I'm attending in Miami following me on Instagram. Didn't expect that. Should I give out my insta to you enjiners?

Rikumaru
What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I’m the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You’re fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that’s just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little “desu” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you’re desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking desu, kiddo.

It is often intimidating being the only teenager engaging in sparring matches with fully grown men at the dojo I'm attending in Miami. But at the same time its thrilling. Anyone else get a similar feeling?

I cooked a very sad omelette this morning

I'm kind of wierded out when former classmates of mine post pictures of themselves in bathing suits and all of their friends comment what a great ass they have.

▉▉▉▉▉▉◤┳◥▉▉▉▉▉▉ You have been visited by the illuminati.
▉▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉▉
▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
▉▉▉◤┳━┳━┳━┳◥▉▉▉
▉▉◤┳┃┈( ° ʖ °)┈┃┳ ◥▉▉ most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be qu1cksc0p3d

Ah yes, my favorite map on EW

Proposed changes to berserker: http://www.empirewar.org/forums/m/5312442/viewthread/29977126-berserker-needs-nerf/post/last#last

I figure its about time I let you in on what has been going on in my life as a sort of update. My cryptic posts have been chronicling various stages of my despair and it has finally culminated but not in the predicted manner:

-My mother and stepfather are currently in the process of divorcing
-Because of the above point my living arrangements are about to drastically shift
-After this year I'm being transferred from a yeshiva to a secular school
-Without access to a synagogue and other facets of judaism I do not know if I will be able to remain observant

Ironically though my mother is the happiest and healthiest I've heard her been for many many years. She's been plagued with various stomach issues and basically other debilitating illnesses for quite a long time and it was astonishing to hear her going out, doing things, and overall living life again.

In addition my stepfather will no longer be hampered or hindered from practicing his religion. Judaism was a common topic of vehement disagreement between the two and ultimately it seems the two individuals are happier being in separate quarters.

There are a multitude of complications that will have to be resolved and it is emotionally straining for me suffering a second divorce but all I can do is hope the processions are amicable. Well, there you all have it. The latest occurrences that have been transpiring in my soap opera life. Wish me luck.

Blastoise says I should change name back to Magikarp129. Should I do it?

Next person that talks shit about my eyebrows gets spammed with normie Pokemon memes

Who do you call when you're organs are getting ripped from inside out? MEDIC MEGIKKARP afcorse!

The custom join message suggestion has now been added for veterans on EW. Suggested by yours truly

Haircut time?